May 2, 2016
TO: Misty Wives, sisters and daughters
Dear Special Friends,
A proposal has been made to Jeni Halimun (Misty George Buchkowski) and me, Jackie L. Douglass (Misty Bill Douglass), regarding a writing project involving each of you. In the spirit of the MISTY book it has been suggested that the wives of those story-tellers offer their first person stories. For certain at this time is that your input is all that will make this book a reality. Don Shepperd has been pivotal in his inspiration and instruction for the printed outcome of this project.
It matters not that you were married to your pilot spouse during his combat service days. Those characteristics that sustained his Warrior personality is what guided him to that arena and propelled his successes beyond its confines. Among those characteristics are leadership, conviction, intelligence, discernment, loyalty, commitment, self-sacrifice, and unrelenting passion for the task at hand. We, their spouses and life partners, have been uniquely influenced by their exercise of such characteristics. Whether as the combat pilot wife or one who was irreversibly drawn to the essence of The Man, our histories are written within the experience of our warrior-hero-husbands.
Jeni and I believe there is value in the stories of your personal histories as they relate to the scripts and roles played on the military family stage. The value of your story with the Warrior-Hero personality persists, as well, in your life with him beyond the boundaries of combat duty and the military arena. This book will be your own stories, written in your own words and grounded in the relationships spawned by attraction to amazing men with whom we chose to travel life’s journey.
Please do not be daunted by a request to “write your story.” The Misty book itself is about EVENTS written in a third-person voice with only occasional first person references. The nature of our Wives’ book may prove to be an imposing task because of its more first-person narrative. FEELINGS will characteristically find their way into a military wife’s story about her life with her Warrior-Hero husband. My experience with military wives and military families in general attests to the difficulty and resistance that they have revealing authentic feelings.
Call on your children as an additional resource both as an interviewer and as one who could record and transcribe your recollections. They would find great value in your memories. Having them interview you would complement your recall. It would also offer discovery for them about the identity of this Mother-Wife for whom they have often held awesome regard.
For those of us whose Warrior-Heroes have passed, “Memories may slip out of our eyes and roll down our cheeks.” …..and then we write………. It is a delicious journey down memory lane.
A life story is not a requirement for these chapters. Remembrances of one particular event; a shared favorite anecdote; one incident revealing a particular characteristic of your marriage or of the personality that most defines your life partner are examples of short writings that will contribute to the value of this book.
Here are some topics (pick and choose at will) to jump-start your thinking and storytelling: (Rephrase the tense in topics to fit your circumstance.)
Why were you first attracted to each other? Characteristics of each…..
How were you alike? Different? What steps led to marriage? Events of
Wedding; honeymoon? Major challenges of starting life together?
How did you see your marriage role? What were adjustments you made; what do wish you had done differently?
Recall some of the best times you had together. One of the best laughs.
In what ways did you support each other? What ways did you meet your individual needs?
Describe your most significant time/s together
What memories of being together do you like to relive?
What are you thankful for about your spouse? What is spouse thankful for about you?
What would you say you have given your spouse?
What has your spouse given you?
The things I want to but haven’t said to my spouse; or wish I had said but didn’t
What I admire/d the most;
I now understand what you meant or what you did about a certain thing.
Something that has changed about me because of spouse.
My favorite time of year with spouse is/was.
I loved it when spouse said to me, “ ? ”
That special something of your spouse that you will always keep.
(Some of these topics are excerpts from the book: Legacy: a Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Personal History; Linda Spence; Swallow Press, Athens, OH; 1997. (ISBN 0-8040-1002-1)
The length of your story is in the range of 5-15 pages, single spaced, 12 pt. type.
Jeni and I look forward to hearing of your affirmative interest and reading your contributions. We are available by phone for consultation throughout the birth and life of this project. Please join us for a heartfelt journey.
Contact us at:
Jeni Halimun 678-315-3172 firstname.lastname@example.org
Jackie L. Douglass 719-330-6119 (Cell) email@example.com